It's June. Which officially means that you're coming this month {hopefully!}. Let's not go past the 30th ok? I've been horrible at blogging and documenting my belly and thoughts, but so much is happening right now that I needed to write you another little letter.
Daddy and I are doing a lot to prepare for you coming. I think that's all we really do anymore. My nesting instinct has kicked in full gear. It kicked in while I was in Utah for 3 weeks, far from home and too far to do any of the things I wanted to do at home to prepare for you. I think that made my craze for cleaning the house more intense. So far we've, washed the couch covers, moved all the furniture and vacuumed and carpet cleaned every inch of carpet we have, thrown away more stuff than we still have left in the house {I swear by this, we've thrown away so much more than we've kept}, moved our room around to make more space for your little sleeper, bleach washed all the baseboards and all the shelves in the laundry room and all the windowsills, Reorganized the linen and medicine and pantry closets, took a toothbrush and soft scrub and went to town on the tiled kitchen counter tops, cleaned behind the fridge, cleaning the fridge is on the to do list this week, we've made freezer meals.... and I feel like there's more, but I'm not remembering. I think all we've got left is getting the bathroom tiles scrubbed, the caulk removed and redone in the tubs, and deep cleaning the toilets and we'll be all set as far as the house is concerned. I told your daddy to enjoy this while it lasted. Pretty sure that my desire to clean will disappear as quickly as my belly will!
Your little nursery is coming along! Walls are painted, crib and dresser are up, mirror and frames are up, grandma redid the cover for our glider, we hemmed and hung the curtains (my favorite part of the room), and now it's a disaster as I've been sorting through and washing your clothes and blankets! I've washed all of your swaddles and newborn clothes. Daddy keeps kindly offering to do the laundry for me and gets so confused when I tell him no. I don't think he quite understands just how long I've waited for this time in my life. Washing your little things is the highlight of my life right now. Thanks for making laundry fun, baby. I still need to print pictures, and make flowers, paint the nightstand, recover the footstool of the glider, order a changing pad cover and bed skirt, and then I think we're all set! It's coming along! I'm glad we've still got a few more weeks left to get this stuff done.
Daddy and I have been reading a lot and preparing for your birthday. I was in a car accident 7 years ago that had a huge impact on my lower spine... the exact spot where they place an epidural. Making it extremely tough and scary to consider an epidural an option. So we've been studying up on hypnobirthing. I thought your daddy wouldn't be too serious about it when I first started reading about it. I even found it slightly silly at times. But he's really surprised me. He reads me this book aunt Jenn let us borrow and he's got it all down. He's been my biggest support throughout all of this and I know that I won't need anybody else in that delivery room when the time comes. He's saved this picture as his screensaver on his phone for when the doctor tells us we need an intervention. It has a list of questions to ask and how to avoid letting the doctor scare us. He's pretty much on top of things and ready. We recently switched OB's and hospitals and I was getting pretty scared that this new hospital wouldn't really let us do what this book has been telling us to do. I was worried they'd try to force interventions and medicines on us and wouldn't let me get up and move like I wanted. I've also been reading this breastfeeding book that talks about different things a hospital should do to give you the best chance at successful breastfeeding (also known as a Baby Friendly hospital). I was getting worried we'd have to fight hard for those things as well. Turns out, our hospital is one of the very few hospitals that is Baby Friendly and they got their certification faster than most do. We toured the hospital last week and it was such a relief. I could tell they were all for unmedicated births. She showed us all the different things the bed could do and all that we could do to move labor along and make it more comfortable. Making the switch to this new hospital was the best thing we've ever done. And I'm not scared anymore.
I do have this fear though, one that I wasn't expecting to have. I'm actually really afraid of the moment we'll meet you. I'm afraid my heart won't be able to contain the love I'll have for you. It sounds so cheesy and cliche, but I really am afraid of how much we're going to love you. Every time I feel you flip around or feel your hiccups, my heart grows with so much love. I just can't see how it could contain any more, but I know it will. Being pregnant with you has been such an adventure and one that I've treasured. I'm going to miss it. Sure I've been sick a lot and uncomfortable, but I'd do it all over again. It's been such a joy and an experience I'll cherish. We can't wait to meet you baby girl!
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